The universe has a funny way of reminding us that everything we need for our personal and professional development is right here, in our lives. It's just one of the many services the universe provides — skillfully drawing attention to our growth opportunities by providing people and situations that invite us to step up. If I’ve learned one thing about the universe, it’s persistent. If you forget or ignore its lessons, the universe won’t give up on you. No, it simply uses more creative tactics. For instance: bees.
I love the sound of water — listening to the sound of water instantly brings me to a peaceful place. A few minutes of chilling out by the fountain in our yard does wonders to erase any weirdness du jour. Cue the bees!
It's hot where I live in Arizona, pretty much always. It's wicked hot in the summer. Naturally, bees and other critters seek out water wherever they can find it. Turns out the rocks near our fountain are a perfect place for a thirsty bee to grab a drink with its friends before buzzing off on its bee business. I didn't see all the bees on the fountain at first. I saw a few, but I was distracted, completely lost in thought after a long week. I noticed some leaves had fallen in the fountain, making it run slowly. On autopilot, I scooped out the leaves, unaware that I was disturbing the bees in the process. Suddenly there was a swarm of bees flying around my face. I'm not allergic to bees, but still, being faced (literally) with 30 ticked off bees is freaky AF. My brain instantly switched off its mindless chatter track. I was fully present.
Resistance is Futile
As I was extracting myself from the swarm of bees, a quote from Star Trek popped into my head: “Resistance is futile." Who said that, you might ask? Fun fact: it was the Borg, a race of alien cyborgs who are all linked in a collective "hive mind." And they have a point. Resistance is futile. When the bees and the Borg snapped me back to reality, I realized that I had, once again, unconsciously invited a life lesson in presence and resistance, two of my recurring themes. I wasn't present because I was preoccupied with a work situation. Specifically, I was having a spirited discussion about what "should be," playing multiple characters in a self-created drama in my head. That's a little embarrassing to admit, but there it is.
We all resist. We fight life. We deny what is. Resistance is the stress of being in one set of circumstances and wanting to be in a different set of circumstances. One form of resistance is non-acceptance. Judgment is another. I was all up in those too (pre-bees). I know I'm hardcore resisting something when the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" come out in my thoughts. When we’re “anti” anything, that’s resistance too. Basically, all negativity tracks back to resistance of some kind. We are here, we want to be there, so we actively resist present conditions. When our minds simply won't have it, when we refuse to accept what is, that creates pain and suffering for ourselves and everyone around us. Like the Borg.
Resistance is also a waste of time and energy. Fighting the flow of life zaps our energy and the odds are never in our favor. On the flip side, it’s far more practical, not to mention less stressful and exhausting, to simply accept what is. In doing so, we’re not accepting that the situation will be this way forever. We’re not rolling over — exactly the opposite! We're stepping into our power. In accepting what is, we’re accepting the present, so we can see situations clearly, make informed choices, and take positive action. We’re not letting past or future thoughts (and the resulting emotions) impact our state of mind. If we let go of resistance, our choices become clear, instead of being clouded by negativity. We can take on any situation rationally, in the present. We can’t do that if we can’t accept what is.
Three Choices
Resistance itself isn’t inherently bad; it can be helpful if we learn to see it for what it is: communication from our mind and body that something is challenging us — challenging our perception of ourselves, our identity, or challenging our preferences, understanding, experience, or beliefs.
Resistance shows up in different ways, sometimes challenging us when we least expect it. Nobody expects the Borg! Resistance often presents itself as fear, anger, frustration, and other tricky emotions. Notice how you feel when you dislike something (or someone). It's that. It can also feel like closing off, shutting down, or distancing. However it shows up, resistance is an indication that we have an opportunity to choose or to change.
The way I see it, in any situation, we have three constructive choices. That's it, three. We can walk away. We can change something. Or, we can accept what is, fully, without negativity or blame. There are consequences for every choice, which we also need to accept. Some outcomes we’ll like, others not so much. But accepting what is without negativity, choosing what’s next, and taking positive action puts us in the driver's seat. The result is freeing. It enables us to take responsibility for our lives instead of being victims of circumstance… or the Borg.
Let it Be(e)
I love this quote from The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, “There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.” This is not intended to be philosophical. It’s a straight-up practical observation. You can be either caught up in a mental time warp, thinking about the past or future, or you can be present in your life. I recently revisited The Power of Now, listening to the audio version during my morning walks. The timeless wisdom reminds me that I have the conscious choice to live my life in the moment, to accept what is, to not force resolution or answers — and to drop the negativity. Tolle says it more elegantly. So did The Beatles: “Let it Be.”
When we stop fighting life, life gets easier. When we let life be, we experience less stress, fear, and drama. We stop creating problems. We can face any situation rationally, because it’s just a life situation, not a problem. We have more energy because we’re not wasting it pushing, pulling, and fighting for control. We learn and grow because we become more open-minded. Our capacity to love and accept others expands. Relationships improve because we’re not trying to box people into behaving in a way that we like or expect.
By recognizing resistance and changing our mindset, the challenges in our lives and work become circumstances that we can change, walk away from, or accept as they are. We still need to navigate obstacles. Our challenges don't magically disappear, generally speaking, but we don’t need to make life harder for ourselves and others. With a shift in perspective, we can see and accept events as they are and decide what we’re going to do about it.
Bottomline: When you can truly be in your life (be present) and let life be (let go of resistance), the result is both freeing and empowering.
More to Explore!
Below is a free one-pager and journaling activity on how to recognize and release resistance. Subscribe on the Executive Hippie Life site and follow us on social media channels @ExecHippieLife for more!
Comments