I was given a valuable gift recently—the gift of feeling stupid. You might be thinking, "Wow, she's easy to buy for!" It's true, stupid is not something we put on our wish lists, but it can be something to be thankful for all the same.
I recently made a career shift into a new industry. I felt mentally prepared for the learning curve—resolved to enter with a beginner's mindset, as a learner vs. a knower. The hardest thing about trying to learn with a beginner's mind, of course, is not actually being a beginner.
Opportunities to be a true beginner come less frequently as we move through our lives and careers. There's a lot we need to mentally "erase," so to speak, before we can attempt to see with a beginner's mind, including some of our expectations and beliefs.
Every now and then life gives us a gift though—the opportunity to shift and resume our journey as a beginner. Even with our vast experience and knowledge, our minds are still able to snap into that uncluttered, receptive place of eagerness and curiosity, where we can see with fresh eyes and an open mind. That moment of feeling stupid was my trigger to snap. I realized I had a choice. I could embrace the unknown, humbly and wholeheartedly, or resist and hide in the shelter of my comfort zone.
Creating Space for Grace
When we're starting from square one, we have a decision. We can cling desperately to what we think we know, so we don't feel stupid. Or, we give ourselves some grace, let go of the self-judgyness, and embrace the unknown as a beginner, with an open heart and mind.
The Buddhist practice of approaching life and work with a beginner’s mind (called shoshin) came into broader awareness from Shunryu Suzuki, a monk, teacher, and author of the book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. Shoshin teaches us that only when you're a true beginner, can you really learn anything—and the flip side, that being a know-it-all is self-limiting. As Suzuki puts it, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”
As a more (ahem) "experienced" beginner, I know first-hand that coming from a place of learning vs. knowing is a challenging mindset shift. Below are five ways I've learned to check my "expert" ego at the door and intentionally cultivate a beginner's mind.
5 Tips for Experienced Beginners
Empty Your Cup and Your Mind: Like a cup, we can only take in so much before we need to pause, process, and clear our minds. Watch your thoughts and pay attention to when your cup is sloshing over. When we've hit the max of what we can absorb, we can start feeling overwhelmed or anxious. That's a sign to come back to the present moment, pause, integrate what we've learned, and reset. If we don't take these mental pauses, the result can be reduced knowledge retention... and more stress. When you get close to your overflow point, pause to breathe, take a mindful walk, or simply putter around (do a routine, non-thinky task). Giving ourselves time to noodle on what we've learned, to let it sink in, works wonders for our overall well-being and creates a solid foundation for growth.
Let Your Inner Child Out to Play: Remember when everything was new, exciting, and fun? Tap into that feeling and bring a sense of wonder back into your world. A wide-eyed, child-like approach to learning helps us drop preconceptions and cynicism, so we're free to engage with our imagination and play with possibilities. We're also free to laugh at (or with) ourselves. The beginner's mind is a humbling place. Also true: the ego takes itself too seriously. Letting go of our ego and its seriousness helps us regain our beginner's mindset. Not only that, keeping our sense of humor intact helps us enjoy the process of learning.
Get Curious. Stay Curious: It's easy to get stuck in what we know—our autopilot routines, practices, beliefs, and thought patterns. Curiosity helps us embrace the unknown and live into the questions that spark creativity and innovation. Our brains are wired to anticipate specific outcomes based on what we know. We crave certainty. Even when the known sucks, we actually prefer it to the unknown! We have to consciously work to make the unknown a psychologically safe place to hang out. Curiosity helps us do that. A beginner's mind experiences the questions and is comfortable not knowing the answers, taking it all in, enjoying the ride, and asking, "What can I learn?"
Color Outside the Lines: Very few things in work and life are truly black and white. A beginner's mind sees the art of the possible by remaining open to not only the shades of gray, but all the colors, textures, and styles. With awareness and an open mind, we can catch ourselves before our beliefs and opinions limit our opportunity for growth and expanded understanding. Judgment and labeling are ways that we unconsciously reinforce the rules we've created for ourselves, our world, and the people we interact with. Our ego actively resists information that isn't in alignment with our rules and beliefs. We need to challenge ourselves to stay open. Not everything we learn will resonate with us, but let's not deny ourselves the opportunity to learn.
Tell a Different Story: We can all benefit from paying close attention to the stories we tell ourselves. How we speak to ourselves and the stories we tell ourselves can empower us or they can limit us. Watch your thoughts and when you find yourself telling a self-limiting story ("Oh no, is this going to involve a bunch of networking? I'm terrible at networking..."), stop. Ditch the attachment to the old story and tell a new one that sets you up for success. A story of failure and a story of learning are often the same story. Tell the story of learning. Tell the story of growth. Tell the story of challenge and breakthrough.
A Gift that Keeps on Giving
When we can approach situations as a beginner, regardless of our experience, we open ourselves up to the insights and wisdom of others, as well as the learning, creativity, and innovative ideas that become accessible to a truly open mind. As a learner with a beginner's mind, we're not holding onto preconceptions, beliefs, judgments, assumptions, expectations, worries, or stories about what "should be" or how we "know it will be." As a result, we become more comfortable with the unknown and more likely to experience:
Clarity and objectivity, leading to better decisions and more informed actions
Greater empathy and compassion, transforming our interactions and relationships
Reduction in disappointment/frustration, as we're not attached to specific outcomes
More excitement for our work, increasing productivity and decreasing procrastination
Decreased anxiety, the unknown becomes less stressful and curiosity replaces worry
Comfort admitting IDK, improving our confidence and reducing defensiveness
Increased creativity, leading to more innovative ideas and breakthrough solutions
Less fear, being open to trying new things and making (and learning from) mistakes
More to Explore!
Admitting that we don't know can be uncomfortable and sometimes even paralyzing. Try the mindfulness exercise below to start cozying up to not knowing. When we make IDK a comfortable and familiar place to be, we train our brain to bypass the self-doubt, fear, and anxiety that typically comes along with it.
Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably, tall but not stiffly with your spine straight, shoulders over hips, arms resting naturally on your thighs or lap. Hands face up or down. Chin is parallel to the ground.
Relax your body. Feel your connection to the ground. Adjust anything you need to. Relax your jaw. Your shoulders. Observe your breath without trying to change it. Notice if you're holding any tension and let it go as you exhale.
Rest your eyes on an object in front of you. Try to see it with fresh eyes, as if it's the first time. Observe something about it that you never realized before. Notice if any preconceived ideas or stories come up and let them pass.
With your concentration focused on the object, your mind empty of stories, start to consider everything you don't know about the object. Let questions pop into your mind. Don't try to imagine the answers. Just create space for the questions. Relax and feel yourself becoming curious and comfortable not knowing.
With your eyes still resting on the object in front of you, let you mind expand to other things you don't know. You can go anywhere with this. It doesn't need to be about the object. Let questions randomly pop into your head. If you're distracted by thoughts or possible answers, let these go, bringing your attention back to the questions.
After each question, say to yourself, "I don't know." Feel the truth in this, and that it's OK not to know. Relax and rest in the uncertainty until it feels comfortable, or even enjoyable. It might even make you laugh. That's great!
When you're ready, resume your day with an open, curious mind, a sense of wonder, and a feeling of ease and lightness.
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